ANSWERS I NEVER HEARD IN GEOLOGY CLASS

Larry Rush



Is AGGLOMERATE scrambled aggs?

Does a WILDCATTER have GREENSTONE CATS-EYES in his HEADFRAME?

Do clogged ARTERITES give geologists heart ATACMITES?

Did ANNA BERGITE get jealous when BRUCITE had some SYNCLINE with KIM BERLITE?

Is CITRINE what a geologist tells his dog, Trine?

Is a MICROMOUNT a PREMATURE ERUPTION?

Can a CUBANITE be admitted on the U.S. CONTINENTAL SHELF?

Do 8 year old sisters on bikes perform CYCLIC TWINNING?

Is a BRACHYDOME where the Brachs play football?

Does a geologist who needs toilet training cause BEDDING SCHISTOCITY?

If you GYPSUM of your mineral customers, can you land in the IRON-STONE CLINKER?

Does a geologist get a TAN TALITE if he vacations in the ISOTROPICS?

If you use a LADDER-VEIN to climb out of a GLORY-HOLE, will you fall on your TUFF?

In topography, does MOOR ever mean LOESS?

Is the term "LOPOLITHIC UNIFICATION in the LITHOLOGIC LITHOZONE " ever used by speech therapists?

Will the CANADIAN SHIELD protect our neighbors from a ROCKet attack of EXPLOSION BRECCIA?

Is a DIPJOINT related to a clip joint?

Isn't a NORMAL FAULT a contradiction in terms?

Will a meal of CRYSTAL LATTICE , GRAPTOLITES, and CARATS on EARTH CRUST made with ROCK FLOUR give you a GASTROLITHIC DISCONFORMITY?

Does AT&T sell GEOPHONES to use with their PHONOLITE service?

Is the ROADMETAL to riches paved with GOLDSTONE?

Are LUNAR rocknuts called SPATIAL GREYWACKES?

Do geologists babies who eat strained peas form GREENSCHIST? (I'm really sorry about this one!)

Is ALABASTAR a brother-in-law from Alabama?

Do geologists take ALKALI seltzer for ACID-ROCK stomach from eating PUDDING-STONE?

Is a geologist's impotence called a BEDDING FAULT?

Did U.S. geologists drop VOLCANIC BOMBS on the JAPANESE TWINS in WWII?

If FRANKLIN ITE and CHRYS OBERYL had CONVERGENCE with a SEISMIC EVENT in a CONTACT ZONE without a CORUNDUM, could the result be a LITTORAL one? (Groan, groan!)

Can a CUP CORAL hold FLUID INCLUSIONS , or do you need a VOLCANIC GLASS?

Does DACITE follow NITRITE?

Can you wash your MINERAL WOOL with SOAPSTONE in a DRAINAGE BASIN?

Is ARSENIC when a geologist gets bitten in the rear by a DOODLEBUG?

Is BEDROCK time for a new mattress and a better PILLOW STRUCTURE?

Can SOIL MECHANICS repair TEAR FAULTS?

Does a WILDCATTER have GREENSTONE CATS-EYES in his HEADFRAME?

If a geologist becomes ILLITE, does he go to a TRICLINIC to leave a URANINITE specimen?

Can you boil MINERAL WATER in a KETTLE HOLE heated with MAGMA? Is it then a HYDROTHERMAL fluid?

Are there many PLANETESIMALS, or do we live on a RARE EARTH of our STAUROLITE?

Can I drive in my new CARNETITE on the DESERT PAVEMENT over a LAND BRIDGE?

Do DIFFERENTIAL FORCES ever fight it out in a Congress of LEUCOCRATS vs. Republicans?

Can you ever get a DISCONFORMITY in your SPINEL CHORDATA?

Is CRYSTAL DISORDER common in a CHAOS structure?

Can you get bitten by the DOGTOOTH SPAR of a LABRADORITE?

Do VULCANOLOGISTS ever get ERUPTIVE and FUMEROLE at times?

Are INTRUSIVE or EXTRUSIVE rocks more fun at a party?

Are geologists or psychologists more interested in FAULT COMPLEXES and
TENSILE STRESSES?

Wasn’t it Edna FERBERITE who wrote The Good Earth?

Can you call a HARD ROCK geologist a FLINTY character?

Is RUBY SILVER really a GOLD-digger, or does that old FOSSIL, AL MANDITE, only have FOOL’S GOLD anyway?

Does a GABBRO dominate the conversation at a cocktail party?

Is FLAG-STONE found in an old  GLORY-HOLE?

Is a BARITE ROSE formed by the GREENHOUSE EFFECT in the presence of SUNSTONE?

Is ANTIMONY a geologist’s rich aunt?

Does a  geologist flamer make an ASH of himself?

Does a geologist get lost in a house with a BASEMENT COMPLEX?

Is BLACKJACK  the name of a COAL MINE geologist?

Is PEAT MOSS the name of a geobotanist?

Has anybody seen that old CALAMINE, OLIVINE?

Can my friend CHAL CEDONY buy a BREW STERITE at the CINNA BAR with a NICCOL ITE?

Can CROSSED NICHOLS be corrected with SPECULARITES?

Do small APACHE TEARS CRYOLITE?

Does AFTERSHOCK occur on a geologists New Year’s Day?

Is the geologists theme song ADOBE-dobe-doo, written by Jerome KERN ITE?


And most importantly…….

Is this list just so much WASTAGE by a SILLIMANITE?







MINERAL HUMOR